Going to the Game with incontinence

Turnstiles click. The roar of the crows hits as you step into the stand. Programme folded, pie in hand. Kick-off is seconds away.

Everyone else is locked on the pitch. You’re locked on the toilets.

The row is narrow. The people beside you aren’t moving. The clock is ticking, but not the one on the scoreboard, the one in your head.

How long before you have to go?

Will you make it back before you miss something?

The Stadium Isn’t Built for You

The Queue that snakes halfway round the concourse, by the time you get near the cubicle, the whistle’s already blown.

Add a pint, the adrenaline, and the stress of being stuck twelve seats deep, and it’s not surprising the bladder makes itself louder than the chants.

This isn’t about pretending it won’t happen. It’s about knowing you’re equipped so you don’t spend ninety minutes playing defence in your own head.

Protection that sits flat. Breathable enough to handle the heat when the game gets frantic.

You’re here to see the football.

Stay for the Final Whistle

If something happens, it’s not a headline. It’s a human moment in a stadium full of them. The crowd moves on. So do you.

You get to decide when you leave. Not your bladder. Not the queues.

The match is ninety minutes long. Don’t spend them worrying about the wrong scoreboard.

Bladder and bowel incontinence may be caused by conditions which can be treated medically. Please consult your physician for medical advice and guidance. All sources used in this article are cited below.