How to Balance Romance and Incontinence

Incontinence is a common condition that millions of people around the world deal with. Many people have to deal with the impact that it can have on different aspects of their lives. One of these aspects is intimate relationships.

Many people with incontinence find this subject difficult to talk about as the stigma surrounding the topic can be very daunting to confront. However, with the right mindset and approach, individuals can manage urinary incontinence effectively and maintain fulfilling romantic relationships. In this blog we explore the challenges of urinary incontinence in romance and how you can navigate them.

Understanding the Impact of Incontinence on Relationships

The taboo topic of incontinence can create both physical and emotional barriers in relationships. Many people who deal with incontinence experience anxiety and some even embarrassed about the condition despite it being totally normal to deal with, as a consequence of this there can be a decrease in the desire for intimacy. One study found that female urinary incontinence had an impact on the sexual satisfaction for both them and their partners, thus decreasing intimacy and increasing frustration in their relationship (Nilsson et al., 2011).

The fear of leakage can put people off intimacy and create a distance between partners. For those in long-term relationships this can pose as a challenge where intimacy plays a crucial role in maintaining a connection…

However there are many effective strategies for those who are incontinent to help deal with these challenges and maintain a healthy romantic life.

Practical Strategies for Managing Incontinence in Romantic Relationships

1. Open Communication with Your Partner

• One of the most effective ways to manage the impact of incontinence on your relationship is through open communication. Discussing your condition with your partner can help alleviate anxiety and build mutual understanding. This openness can foster a supportive environment where both partners work together to find solutions that enhance intimacy (John et al., 2013).

2. Lifestyle Adjustments

• Managing incontinence often involves implementing behavioural strategies that can reduce the likelihood of accidents. For example, timed voiding, where you empty your bladder at scheduled intervals, can help minimise the chances of leakage during intimate moments. Additionally, pelvic floor exercises (Kegels) are known to strengthen the muscles responsible for bladder control, thereby reducing the severity of urinary incontinence (Holroyd-Leduc & Straus, 2015).

• Certain triggers can irritate the bladder, caffeine and alcohol are big examples of this, avoiding these triggers is an effective way to reduce the likelihood of accidents. Making these lifestyle adjustments can go a long way in helping you feel more confident and in control during intimate situations (Holroyd-Leduc & Straus, 2015).

3. Psychological Support

• One way the emotional toll of incontinence can be managed is through cognitive therapy, which focuses on changing negative thought patterns associated with the condition. Cognitive therapy helps individuals reframe their thoughts, reducing anxiety and improving their overall perception of their condition. This psychological approach can be particularly beneficial for those who feel that urinary incontinence is impacting their self-esteem and romantic life (Moore et al., 2006).

• In addition to cognitive therapy, seeking support from a mental health professional or joining a support group can provide emotional relief and practical advice from others who are experiencing similar challenges. These resources can help you develop coping mechanisms and maintain a positive outlook on your romantic life despite the challenges posed by incontinence (Moore et al., 2006).

4. Medical Treatment and Professional Advice

• Consulting with a healthcare provider is crucial in managing urinary incontinence effectively. There are various medical treatments available, ranging from medications to minimally invasive procedures, that can significantly reduce the symptoms of incontinence. Your healthcare provider can offer personalised advice and treatment options based on the severity of your condition (Holroyd-Leduc & Straus, 2015).

• A multidisciplinary approach that includes medical treatment, psychological support, and lifestyle adjustments can help you manage urinary incontinence comprehensively. This holistic strategy not only addresses the physical symptoms but also tackles the emotional and relational aspects of living with incontinence (Holroyd-Leduc & Straus, 2015).

Maintaining Intimacy and Connection

Despite the challenges of incontinence, it is entirely possible to maintain an intimate relationship. The key lies in adopting a proactive approach that includes open communication, effective management strategies, and professional support. By addressing the physical and emotional aspects of incontinence, you can overcome the barriers it presents and continue to enjoy a healthy, connected relationship with your partner.

Remember, incontinence is a manageable condition, and with the right tools and mindset, you can continue to nurture your romantic life without letting it define your relationship. Embrace the journey of managing incontinence with confidence and compassion, and you'll find that romance and intimacy are well within reach.

Bladder and bowel incontinence may be caused by conditions which can be treated medically. Please consult your physician for medical advice and guidance.

References

• St. John, W., Griffiths, S., Wallis, M., & McKenzie, S. (2013). Women's Management of Urinary Incontinence in Daily Living. Journal of Wound, Ostomy and Continence Nursing.
• Moore, K. N., Dowd, T., & Dowd, E. T. (2006). A Cognitive Therapy Approach to Promote Continence. Journal of Wound, Ostomy and Continence Nursing.
• Holroyd-Leduc, J. M., & Straus, S. E. (2015). Management of urinary incontinence in women: clinical applications. JAMA.
• Nilsson, M., Lalos, O., Lindkvist, H., & Lalos, A. (2011). Impact of female urinary incontinence and urgency on women's and their partners' sexual life. Neurourology and Urodynamics.
• Lim, R., Long Liong, M., Leong, W. S., & Abdul Karim Khan, N. (2018). Sexual Function in Couples With or Without Female Incontinent Partners: Correlates and Predictors. Gold Journal of Urology.
• Tannenbaum, C., Corcos, J., & Assalian, P. (2006). The Relationship Between Sexual Activity and Urinary Incontinence in Older Women. Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.