How to talk to a loved one about Incontinence?

Discussions about incontinence can be difficult for many people. In our society, we are accustomed to discreet and independent voiding, a skill learned at an early age as part of potty training. Losing this ability can have significant physical, emotional, and mental effects. As a result, people often find it embarrassing to talk about with family, friends, or even healthcare professionals. Many feel ashamed, while others might see it as a natural part of ageing.

Yes, incontinence is common amongst adults, but it is also treatable. It is not something people should simply accept as inevitable. Incontinence can be managed with treatment and quality incontinence products, such as incontinence pads.

Knowing that incontinence can be managed helps remove the stigma around talking about it.

Setting Up the Conversation

Having a successful conversation with your loved one about incontinence should always begin with careful planning. Think about what you want to discuss and what your final goal is. The most important way to help someone is to understand their condition. Take time to learn about incontinence symptoms, causes, and how it affects day-to-day life. For more information, you can visit the NHS incontinence page here.

While you might be tempted to wait until your loved one brings up the topic, it might be better to initiate the conversation yourself. Understanding incontinence and its causes will enable you to respond sensitively and offer the right support.

Talking to a Parent About Incontinence

It’s essential to stay calm and relaxed when talking about incontinence. It can be an embarrassing topic, and it’s easy for people to feel nervous or defensive when discussing it.

Always choose a comfortable, private place in your home or your loved one’s home to talk. Incontinence can have a considerable effect on emotional and mental health. Don’t make light of the subject, and when your loved one opens up, reassure them that you are there to help with their incontinence.

Talking about continence issues, along with other medical conditions, can boost your loved one’s confidence and remind them they are not alone.

Listen Patiently to Their Concerns

Be sure to listen carefully when your loved one talks about their incontinence. Pay attention to their words, tone, and gestures. They may need to repeat themselves as they share their concerns.

When travelling, you can help by letting them know you’re happy to stop and wait at any service stations or public toilets. This will help them relax and enjoy their time with you, instead of worrying about their bladder.

Normalise the Conversation

Encouraging your loved one to talk about incontinence helps them feel they are not alone in managing their condition. Incontinence is not a disease but a symptom.

Encourage Questions

Keep the conversation open and encourage your loved one to ask as many questions as possible. The more informed you are, the better equipped you’ll be to find solutions that help. Open dialogue can make your loved one feel less anxious, and more in control. Let them know that incontinence doesn’t have to rule their life—it can be managed with the right guidance from healthcare professionals and the appropriate continence products.

Here are some questions you can ask your loved one:

• Do you leak urine when you cough, sneeze, laugh, or exercise?
• How do you feel about managing continence on your own?
• How often do you feel the uncontrollable urge to pass urine?
• Does waking up to urinate at night disturb your sleep?
• Are you using any incontinence pads, and are they effective?
• Have you spoken to your GP or another healthcare professional about bladder or bowel issues?

Managing Incontinence with Pads and Loved Ones

Raising the topic of incontinence may feel difficult at first. However, with the right approach, you can let your loved one know that you’re there to support them. Encourage them to talk openly with you, and over time, they will feel more comfortable.

The more frequently you discuss incontinence, the more natural the conversation will become. The first chat might feel awkward, but eventually, incontinence can be talked about in a matter-of-fact way. Let your loved one know that they don’t have to manage incontinence alone.

Encourage them to seek support from their GP or another healthcare professional. With the right guidance and continence products, such as pads, your loved one can continue doing the things they love, whether it’s walking, hiking, or swimming. 

Bladder and bowel incontinence may be caused by conditions which can be treated medically. Please consult your physician for medical advice and guidance.